Going Under
by hyper-chika
Summary: A one shot about Ginny and her feelings about herself and the way she acts around the Golden Trio; slight mention of her and Draco's romance.


(A/N: I've hit a small writer's block on my other stories so I'm doing this one-shot about Ginny. It's a songfic to the song 'Going Under' by Evanescence.)

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you,_

_Fifty thousand tears I've cried,_

_Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you,_

_And you, still won't here me_

"Virginia! We're only looking out for you! We know what's best for you!" Ron had said to me once after I had protested to him scaring away my very first boyfriend; he had told him that he was no good for Ronald Weasley's 'baby sister'. I had let his tirade continue quietly without interrupting and had gone to bed that night in tears.

_(Going under)_

_Don't want your hand this time,_

_I'll save myself,_

_Maybe I'll wake up for once._

I hadn't wanted Harry to catch me the first time I had ever fallen from a broom out at Quidditch practice one day. I was scared but I knew somewhere deep down that I wanted to fall, to feel the true pain of Quidditch, hoping that it would motivate me to play harder and be tougher …but he hadn't let me. And when he'd stumbled and fallen down with me in his arms after landing, he had pulled me up without even giving me a chance to get up myself. He had grinned as he looked down at me and said, "Don't worry, Gin, I'll always be here to catch you when you fall and help you up when you need me to,"

_Not tormented daily,_

_Defeated by you,_

_Just when I,_

_Thought I'd reached the bottom._

But she hadn't needed his hand. She'd tried to tell that to Hermione, but she had basically repeated Ron. "Ginny, we're looking out for you is all. We know you need some help along the way so you don't make the same mistakes we did," But she wanted to make mistakes! She wanted to learn lessons herself, not be taught them!

_(I dying again)_

_I'm going under,_

_(Going under)_

Every time I try to get up, to rise about them, they pull me back down. Just when I think I'm making it, just when I think I'm free to be myself, to spread my wings and just fly away, they  pull me back again. I'm going under.

_I'm drowning in you_

_(Drowning in you),_

I can't escape it. It's like I'm drowning in them with no chance to escape. I dream of them, treating my as though I'm a dog, petting me and letting me go when I want to, but then suddenly pulling the leash when they want me back to pet again, punishing me when they think I've done something wrong that I shouldn't have done.

_I'm falling forever,_

_(Falling forever)_

It's like I said. I try to escape, but I can't. I'm like that dog that I dream about. I climb and climb, only to be yanked back down. I'm falling. Falling forever, with no chance to get away.

_I've got to break through,_

_I'm going under._

All of my life has been full of listening to people and following what they said without even letting them know how I felt. But no more. I would break through being held under and below all of her own expectations simply because _they_ don't feel its right for me. I've _got_ to break through.

_Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies_

_(So I don't know what's real…)_

_So I don't know what's real and what's not_

I'm so confused by what they tell me. I've fallen in love, but he's different. They tell me all of his 'kind' are evil. They tell me he's done horrible things, and they tell me stories of his family and friends; yet I can't help but love him. I don't know what they exaggerate and what's true; the blur up the truth and the lies so I can't tell know…so I don't know what's real and what's not. 

_  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head_

_(Oooh)  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
(I'm dying again)_

They don't want me with him, I know that. But he loves me too. I think. I don't know anymore, they confuse me and the thoughts that are in my head, and I can't really trust myself or what I think anymore. I don't know what to do.

He loves me. I know he loves me. Though he is different, though they tell me he doesn't, he loves me. I will always believe that, no matter how I'm going under…

_I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through._

I've got to break through. And with his help, my beloved silver-eyed Draco, I have.

(A/N: Bad? Ah well, don't care, just hoping to inspire myself for my other stories! Well, I suppose I'll post this. No, there won't be a sequel or another chapter…not that it needs one, it sucks enough by itself, LOL.)


End file.
